Saturday, January 14, 2012

Ho Hum

  Thats kind of how I feel right now. Just ho hum. Not bad, not good. Just going through the motions. My husband has been out of town since Thursday and won't be home until very late tomorrow (Sunday). It seems that whenever he is gone it is harder for me to stay on track. No one else to cook for, no one to be accountable to. I have not gotten in any exercise time this week, nor as much blogging as my goal states I will. I have also eaten out more than the allotted one time per week. And here is the biggest disappointment; I have strayed to the liquid Satan. SODA. Not just once, but probably 3 times this week. Why is the stuff so addicting??? And worst yet is that it isn't even diet. Uggghhhh! I am very upset about this one as I was determined to keep this goal. I am not going to make excuses. It sounded good, and I wanted it. Plain and simple. We may have to remove it from the house completely until I have the will power to control this. I can use the excuse that it was TTOM this week and that is why I wanted to eat junk and didn't want to work out, but as women we have to face this once per month. If I used this as an excuse for 1 week out of 4 every month, I will never get to goal. I will just have to suck it up and keep pushing through. Who knows what the scale will say tomorrow, but whatever it is, I am ready for it. I would be happy with any loss at all, but will not be upset if I don't lose anything. I will just be disappointed I let myself down and I will have to turn it into motivation to do better this upcoming week.  I am still confident I can will make my exercise goal for the month. There is still half of a month to make this time up and I plan on going to the gym tomorrow morning to put a dent in it.
   I am still waiting to get a fill. I was scheduled for Dec 26th when the office called to cancel as they weren't going to be in the day after Christmas (which I stressed when making the appt to begin with but they insisted they would be there). Then they rescheduled for the following week. Got a call from the office saying they had to cancel again. My authorization for the fill had expired at the end of the year and we would have to get a new one. I haven't called them back yet to see if they got the new authorization. I will call on Monday to see if it is in place. I plan on getting a small fill, probably asking for a .25. I am at 6cc in a 10cc band. I am at a really good place. I stay full for aprox. 5 hours (depending on what I eat), and I am able to get everything down if I follow the simple bandster rules. I have only been stuck really once, about a month and a half ago. It was after my last fill and I ate a piece of steak that was too well done and probably a little too big of a bite. Since then, no issues. I know I am very close to my sweet spot though. I can feel food go down a little slow if it is hard protein (chicken or other meat) and I don't go slowly. I think I need the small fill though because my portions are still a little larger than I would like. I think the .25 will be perfect. Hopefully my PA will agree.
  In non band related news I started a new semester of school today. I have been taking a few classes here and there to try to get into a medical coding certificate program. All of my classes in past semesters have been online. Until this morning. The only thought I had while sitting in that class was "I am way too old for this." At 29 I was within the 5 oldest people in the class (out of like 40). And to make it worse....they are using those horrible little desks that I remember from elementary school.
  While I have been feeling pretty good about losing 30 lbs lately, there is nothing like putting you in your place that your still fat than this horrible little invention. And whats worse is that while walking up to it, it looks bigger than it really is. I'm thinking in my head, "It's not that small, I will fit in it with plenty of room to spare." Yeah, not so much. I barely squeezed in. A good reminder that although I am on my way, I still have a long ways to go. The instructor made us get to know one other person in class and then introduce them to everyone else (hate these types of things!), reminds me of high school. Again thinking to myself, "I am way too old for this." These introductions of fellow classmates led to the highlight of the class for me when one guy (probably 18, just out of high school) said, "I'm single, bilingual, and ready to mingle."Classic. Again I said to myself, "I am REALLY too old for this."

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