This is my wish list based off of one of my previous blog postings. I wanted to make it a page in its own as it is a goal list of sorts. I want to be able to cross each one off as I accomplish these long wished for things!
This will probably be one of my more personal blogs if not the closest to my heart. I have been working on a list for about a year...compiling all of the ways my weight affects me, or hinders me from the stuff I would love to be able to do. Some are physical, some emotional. Some are funny, and some just make me want to cry. My goal is to one day, hopefully very soon, be able to start crossing off each item as I am able to accomplish it. It took me awhile to decide if I wanted to post this. I finally decided I would, because it would be so inspirational to me to see each one fulfilled. And I also think it is such an eye opener to others to see how our weight prevents us from enjoying some of the little things in life.
So here it goes.....
1. to own a dress other than my wedding dress
2. to actually look how I feel in the inside and how I picture myself
3. to not be afraid that in an emergency situation my size would prevent rescue in a timely manner
4. to get all "dolled up" in cute clothes and heels and go out with my husband for a nice dinner
5. to not have to shop on the third floor of Macy's
6. to be able to buy a pair of cute cowboy boots and have them fit over my calves
7. to fit into the shirt my sister bought me for my 21st birthday that I never wore because it was too small (yes, I have kept it this long...it is the most beautiful shirt I have ever seen in my life; I will post a picture later)
8. to not have my 4 year old niece look up at me and say, "Why are you fat?"
9. to own a "little" black dress
10. to have a normal, and healthy pregnancy and not be in fear of complications for me or the baby
11. to be able to go bike riding with my family and not be afraid of being left behind in the dust
12. to not have sores on my inner thighs from them rubbing together
13. to feel like I am worth getting "all done up" and that I feel like I actually look good
14. to go horseback riding
15. to go to a Rivercats (baseball) game and fit comfortably in one of the stadium seats
16. to not feel embarrassed at work to carry in fast food
17. to have my husband be able to pick me up
18. to go kayaking
19. to walk around the mall with bags and all and not want to quite after 30 minutes
20. to not be too embarrassed to get a bikini wax
21. to stop sweating! a little is ok, but to be drenched in 75 degree weather after walking for 10 minutes at a leisurely pace is not ok, nor normal
22. to sit in my husbands lap without fear of breaking every bone in his lower body
23. to be able to walk around the San Diego zoo without feeling like I'm 70 years old
24. to be able to sit in an airplane seat without extending the seatbelt to the max
25. to not feel sad when someone walks past the open seat next to you for a further away choice
26. to not have to have the RN go find the "Large" cuff to take my blood pressure
27. to be able to cross my legs like a lady
28. to be able to wipe my ass easier (hehehehehehe!)
29. to not feel uncomfortable while waiting in the Dr.s office in a gown that doesn't cover me while my ass is sticking to the paper liner
30. to not have to worry about the weight limit and how everyone is going to be distributed on my dads fishing boat
31. to stop hiding from cameras
32. to be able to throw the football around with my husband and not be tired after a couple of passes
33. to stop sweating so much....wait, did I say that already?
34. to get out there and have a social life...I miss my friends :(
35. to finally be able to wear the clothes I have stuffed in rubber bins under my bed that I always thought "one day" I'd fit into
36. to be able to walk down an aisle way at the same time as another person and not have to wait for them to pass for fear of knocking myself into a wall
37. to stop tugging at my clothes throughout the day while walking to make sure it is not "riding", exposing skin I'm sure others don't want to see
38. to be able to walk without feeling my cheeks bounce so much
39. to not have to get into a contorted position to just to put on socks and shoes
40. to be able to stand straight up and see my feet
41. to feel like people want to talk to me and be my friend, not out of pity
42. to not feel like an embarrassment to my husband; especially in front of his friends
43. to be in the "in crowd" of cute cousins
44. to be able to "do my business" in a regular sized bathroom stall without one or the other of my legs touching the side of the stall
45. to be able to fit in the rides at Disneyland for a vacation planned next year
46. to look decent with a tucked in shirt
47. to have my anxiety/heart palpitations go away
48. to feel confident enough to look into someones eyes when you speak to them rather than shy away
49. to go 1 day, maybe 2, without thinking about my weight
50. to not have my feet swell up after being on my feet for a little over 30 minutes
51. to not be able to fit into the same sized clothing as my husband
52. to be able to buy one of those cute bra and panties sets (other than at Lane Bryant, where I never bought any anyways because the set would cost me $80!!!!)
53. to stop sweating....oh yeah, I think I mentioned that already!
54. to stop crying myself to sleep at night (thinking about all of these reasons how my weight affects my life, and probably a million other things not listed.)
Until next time my friends....